Beamtendeutsch (officialese or bureaucratese) is undoubtedly a recurring nightmare in most languages that is designed to obscure the meaning of even the simplest of things. (As perhaps befits the general concept, there is no agreed upon definition of officialese beyond this such that the distinction from the highly similar legalese is unclear. My impression, however, is that officialese is directed more at the individual items whereas legalese operates more at the level of entire sentences. For example, this comparison between these two terms actually uses officialese to help define legalese. But, like any liquid manure, the one can most definitely flow into the other.) Nevertheless, the nature of the German language, where at most only one word is allowed for any noun, is such that the monsters in the German nightmares are much bigger than those in any of the English ones …
My inspiration for this blog piece was a spot I heard on the radio driving to work the other morning where one of the DJs had to try and guess the meaning of some words in Beamtendeutsch. An exhaustive bit of research later (i.e., a quick bit of googling) and I discovered this list, which contained many of the same terms used (lifted) in the radio spot and from which I provide a selection of the most obscure Beamtendeutsch together with their exact and everyday translations in English.
- nicht lebende Einfriedung ➜ not living enclosure (fence)
- raumübergreifendes Großgrün ➜ areaspanning biggreen (tree)
- Lautraum ➜ loudarea (disco)
- Gelegenheitsverkehr ➜ opportunistictransport (taxis and rental cars)
- Grundstücksentwässerungsanlage ➜ propertydrainagesystem (gutter)
- einachsiger Dreiseitenkipper ➜ singleaxel threesideddumper (wheelbarrow)
- Anleiterbarkeit ➜ ladderable (possibility to lean a ladder on a window, one of the few cases where the everyday translation is just as nonsensical as the officialese, if not more so)
- Restmüllbeseitigungsbehälterentleerung ➜ residualwasteextractioncontaineremptying (trash collection)
- Personenvereinzelungsanlage ➜ personnelisolationsystem (turnstile)
- Grüngutsammelplatz ➜ greenstuffcollectionpoint (compost pile)
- Mehrstück ➜ multiunit (copy)
- bedarfsgesteuerte Fußgängerfurt ➜ demandcontrolled footgoerway (pedestrian crossing)
- Lebensberechtigungsbescheinigung ➜ lifeauthorizationcertificate (family register)
Themenentsprechende Fragestellungsangelegenheit? ➜ topicrelevant questionposingopportunity? (Any questions?)
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