The admin types have been awfully quiet this summer, leaving me with a dearth of material for my posts lately. Some, including some of my readers, might see this as a positive thing. I see it merely as the eye of the hurricane and fearfully await what new adventures they might be dreaming up.
In the meantime …
With the sudden excess of spare time to let my thoughts wander, they got lost on the idea of what a wine review would read like if it came from a dog. (I know, I know. Nothing whatsoever to do with admin. But, if you’re going to be enforcing rules like that, then you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog in the first place.) You know how most wine reviews refer to whether or not a wine has a “good nose” or what smells you can decant from it? Well, why not ask someone who has a good nose from the get go?
(Strangely enough, in googling this just now, it would seem that very few people have stumbled upon this same particular, if not downright peculiar, thought. This probably represents a warning of some kind …)
So, here’s an actual review of an actual wine (Fox Grove Shiraz Cabernet 2019; basically my writing aid at this actual moment) written by some actual person:
Soft and juicy, a delicious mix of blackcurrant and redcurrant fruits with a hint of herb combine on a medium bodied palate with silky smooth tannins and a good finish.
Enjoy with Beef, Lamb and Poultry dishes.
Now, what would a dog make of this very same wine? Lessee …
Vivid gray colour. Strong smell of shiraz and cabernet sauvignon grapes in a 68.6:31.4 ratio with an ethanol finish. Also black and red currant fruits. And cherry, red plum, citrus, and green peppers. Lots ‘n’ lots ‘n’ lots ‘n’ lots of berries: cranberry, strawberry, blackberry, gooseberry, blueberry, … Ooh! Is that cedar? Oak too! And eucalyptus! All great trees! Bit of tree resin there too, of course. Great stuff! Silky smooth tannins. Also getting tobacco, cigar boxes, and smoke. Little bit of leather, corroded metal, and blood too. Cinnamon? Yeah. Cocoa, coffee, caramel, and cloves. Carrot too, lightly caramelized. Can’t forget the tomato. Or the licorice, pepper (black and white), and menthol either. Finally, figs. Oh! And raisins. And prunes! And …
Goes well with food. Period. Extremely light on the palate, as if it wasn’t tasted at all. However, the subsequent burps revel in medium acidity combined with light, smooth tannic undertones. Enjoyed chasing both of my tails for five minutes after the first bowl.
(For those that are interested, these are most of the aromas human users have come up with for this wine on vivino.com. Or at least until I got bored reading the reviews.
I also realize fully well that dogs being colourblind is a myth. Fun fact #1: they can’t write English very well either. Fun fact #2: they are indeed colourblind to the extent that they can’t distinguish between red and green, just like a red-green colourblind human so my gray cliché ain’t that far from the mark in this case.)
Anyway …
Let’s all hope that those admin types get back to being productive very soon …
The Blog About Fog 